Time heals all wounds (WARNING: Contains one large rant)

Now they say that time can somehow heal a part of yourself – I for one do not agree. Yes, for some, it can, but it depends on what has happened.

This is a rant. But not just any rant, this is one that has become vigorously cultivated and mulled, until it falls-out-of-your-ear-dripping-wet-after-showering type of rant. One for short, that has been a long time coming.

I’ve had a problem and I can’t escape it, it won’t fade and I think it has broken me. I been doing this for too long, it has been an emotionally charged, tumultuous terrifying experience and I don’t know what to do. If something makes you actively question the validity of life and all the relationships you have and the choices that you make, your identity and the truth of your actions.. leaves you exhausted and I don’t know what to do to save what I have done. I’ve been wrong, and I should have left before I had to lie to everything and everyone in my life, and I don’t know how I can face the things I have to.

The people I ask about emotional pain who, are although well meaning, do not really understand and rationally, logically, that is entirely understandable. But I just wish someone could wave a magic wand like a Disney fairy and give me some answers in the form of universal truths; because it doesn’t bloody make sense.

What do you do?

Everything is confusing…

– A.T


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